Fix + add to my paragraph

i have done wrote my paragraph but thier some comment i have recived from my classmate, can you please see the attach file then fix it for me

first coment: sentence 1 and 2 basically say the same things..

second comment: add a little bit of why this is important or some of the warrents strigmas syrrounding religoin and sexuality.

third comment: add a good title for your abstract.

fourth comment: add more information but not to much.